Sorry that I've been away for so long. Due to a biblical-type windstorm, my entire neighborhood has been suffering from power outages. Although my block actually got their power back relatively quickly, I just got my TV and internet back a little while ago. 
    Although I am quickly learning to again live life as a recently reinstated member of the american 20th century, the scars of my temporary temporal displacement have been slow to heal. I've been staring at the bundle of scented candles on my living room table and have thought to myself "There you are, precious sources of both light and heat. With you, I shall thrive in this new and scary world". Also, I have driven past oil takner trucks and thought about how many other motorcycled marauders it would take to raid it and bring it back to out desert outpost. At least I've stopped looking at women's hips and teeth to analyze them for breeding purposes.
     The most important thing that I can take away from this entire experience, however,  is that I need TV. I need it like the forrest needs the trees, like fish need water, like Kim Kardashian need semi-literate black athletes. It is absolutely the greatest invention of all time and life without it is as pointless as an unsharpened pencil. It is frankly a miracle that I was able to survive so long without it. I used to watch movies that took place in other time periods and wonder how I would have done in earlier times. Did I have what it took to fight off a wooly mammoth, invading Visigoths or the black plague? 
The answer: No.
The reason: There was no TV for me to watch during the times that these things took place. I'd be very dead very quickly....
and if I wasn't, I'd wish I was.
     Regardless, this entire experience has taught me a valuable lesson: Watch as much TV as you possibly can. Forsake all else for it. Treat is right and it'll treat you right right back. You can always read a book when the power is off, just like cavemen did. 
I think.
VIVA LA TELEVISION!