The first one of these things is a real tragedy. Heavy D is the kind of rapper they just don't make anymore, the kind that was not searching for street cred, not trouncing around displaying their downright comical messiah complexes despite a lack of talent so glaring that they could only exist in a world created entirely by "Auto-tune". Heavy D was just pure fun. There was a time not all that long ago when that was aloud. Rappers could just be out to have a nice, old-fashioned, PG-13 rated good time without incurring the ire of their contemporaries. They could wear bright primary colors with chrome on their baseball hats and not a single one wore ladies earrings. Really, and this is a post for another day, somebody is going to have to explain to me what the deal is with rappers wearing earrings which are clearly intended for women. I don't understand it and I highly doubt that I ever will. Regardless, Heavy D was the antithesis of this self-important buffoonery, both far less serious and far more engaging. He was big and fun and I am going to miss him.
Heavy D was also a pretty good actor, appearing in such films as Lasse Hallstrom's "The Cider House Rules". As good an actor as he as, it is here that we transition into the second part of this post. Heavy D's last movie was Brett Ratner's "Tower Heist". Any simple google search will yield you dozens of reasons why being associated with Brett Ratner at the moment is comparable to being a one legged man in an ass kicking contest, so I'll mercifully spare you the current details. All you need know is that after publicly making a genuine ass of himself time and time again over the last week or so, Ratner has been forced out of being the producer of this years Oscars. I don't know who they are going to get to replace him, but I'm sure they'll be an improvement because, well, anyone would be, right?
My point, in summary, is that something terrible happened today and, almost simultaneously, something wonderful happened. The giant, all-knowing cosmic game of Pong continues.
Take it away, D!