I can't figure out  what the saddest part of this tattoo is, the tattoo or the thigh it's printed on. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get my calculator and try to figure out all the ways that this thing signals the imminent apocalypse.  

     I've never seen any of the "Twilight" movies in their entirety, however, I once broke my wrist in three places and had to wait several hours before I could get a cast on it. I had to just sit there, surrounded by nincompoops, while I waited to get a chance to see a nurse. It was simultaneously mind-numbingly boring and excruciatingly painful. 
     As a result of all this, even though I've never actually seen a Twilight movie in it's entirety, I'm pretty sure that I've seen one in spirit. I can't imagine the experience is not identical.
     Did you ever photoshop yourself into "Twilight" fan art? 

     Congratulations, you are not the biggest loser I know of.

     Good for you! 

Never let it be said that San Diego Comic-Con doesn't learn from it's mistakes. Two years ago when the "Twilight" brain-trust peddled their unique blend of Mormon propaganda and Hot Topic "Baby's first fishnets" sensibilities to Comic-Con's Hall H, Comic-Con organizers were clearly unprepared for what followed. This is just about when the "Twilight problem" was reaching pandemic proportions and as a result. the line to get into Friday afternoon's panel started on WEDNESDAY. Because of this the whole thing was, more or less, ruined. These Twi-tards of which I speak are not the most gracious of guests. For one thing, they scream. They scream a lot. People are trying to have an intelligent conversation about wether or not the USS Reliant can beat the USS Excelsior and they don't want someone around them acting all obsessive and weird. Also, because of the crowd of feeble young girls and their feeble-minded mothers, the rest of the Hall H events were rendered inaccessible. "Sorry Sir, you can't get into toe Tron panel because your seat is being occupied by a yawning ten year old with a promise ring who's waiting to scream at her idols and couldn't care less about the thing you drive hundreds of miles for". You don't get in the way of geeks and their obsessions, you just don't.
     Comic-Con just released their schedule for Thursday's programming and they made the Twilight panel the very first thing on the very first day in Hall H. This is the best thing that they could possibly do, other than not having them there at all, or putting strychnine in the Hall H water fountains during the panel. They'll come, they'll see, they'll scream, they'll scream, they'll scream and they'll leave. The locust swarm will subside. The geek nation will begin to heal. 
"I suggest a new strategy, R2. Let the Wookie win".