Is this man America's greatest hero?
Before you say "No, what are you, nuts? Jesus, why did I come to this site anyway? I could be watching internet porn. Where's that sweat sock?" I'm with you, buddy, but hear me out. By the way, your sock is on the floor by your hamper, remember?
Here at Tellersvision we (And by "We", I mean "I") like to mix things up a bit. While yesterday was all about classical music, today is all about a WWE contracted pro-wrestler named CM Punk. Punk has always been a good wrestler, a high flyer with the ability to brawl as well. His look and persona have morphed a bit over the years, but most guys without a killer, "Undertaker"-like hook do. However, being a pro-wrestling superstar involves a mastery of three aspects of the craft: Athletic talent, an interesting look and, finally, an engaging personality. I put it to you that I have placed these in descending order. A super talented wrestler who looks like he was spat out of Hades suppurating anus means little if he can't get on the microphone and describe said journey in an engaging way. This has always been where CM Punk really shines. He has gone from rock and roll obnoxious party guy, to straight-edge society blowhard to his current incarnation as a egomaniacal, misanthropic, lunatic with a messiah complex. Essentially, he's the Glenn Beck of the WWE.
Despite all of this, CM Punk has never really gotten the credit he deserves. He's been passed over for marquee matches, has limited promotion and merchandising and has been moved around a bit too much in the league to ever really make a name for himself. That all ended on Monday night's episode of WWE RAW. CM Punk had enough.
With his contract ending in three weeks, CM Punk got on the mike in front of thousands of fans and unloaded a verbal "Take this job and shove it" that echoed far harder and louder than any body slam ever could. He vented his frustrations with mismanagement, nepotism and special treatment for sycophants who are far less talented than him. He berated the audience, promoted rival companies and even called out people by name, including the WWE's poster child for promotion over talent, John Cena, who was still in the ring in front of him. Best of all, he did it with poignancy, swagger and showmanship. So pointed were these verbal eviscerations that they cut off the man's mike mid-story. If a pro-wrestlers job is to entertain, CM Punk may have just elevated himself to the status of legend. Way to break balls and take names, Sir.
I'm well aware that the WWE make their living off of elaborate misdirections and that all this may very well all be a fantastic con-job. Even if it is, someone here is owed a ton of credit for making me believe something that I never thought I'd believe again: That pro-wresting is real. Real and wonderful.